Cultivating True Valentine Romance

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Linda Johnson | 0 Comments

 

valentine

While Valentines day has been coined “The Day of Romance” many of us feel a bit pressured to feel “romance on demand” when Valentines Day rolls around.

We first contemplated writing a post about how we might fill Valentines Day with all things romantic. We even thought about suggesting breakfast in bed, leaving a trail of chocolates in your loved one’s wake or taking the time to bathe in chocolate at the end of the day.

But. . . then we got real.

The elderly mom called – she thinks she took too much medication and needs your help - NOW. Your beloved 9 year old spilled a whole river of milk under the refrigerator last night and thought he cleaned it up, but your shoes are glued to the floor, so a quick swipe with the mop is in order. To top it off your dog coughed up some indescribable substance that looks a bit like mouse guts. Now, a full mop job is required. Your older two are tapping their watches, indicating they are going to be late to baseball practice AGAIN.

The pressure to “get romantic” can lead to a feeling of lack in our lives. It can lead to feeling as though our romantic life is not living up to what society says it should be. Because we’re dealing with life’s demands, we feel that we are missing something. Do other people actually prepare breakfast in bed and have full days of romance on Valentines Day? How do they find the time and energy?

So, we scratched our idea to write a post on how to make your Valentine’s Day full of romance. Instead, we’ll offer the following.

Stop the madness! We all know that the hurried attempt at gift giving on Valentines Day just leads to a quickly purchased heart-shaped box chosen on February 13 at the local drug store, which usually ends up in the trash can after a respectable amount of time. Chances are, the heart-shaped box will be accompanied by a bouquet of flowers, the cost of which just about prevent us from getting the mortgage paid this month! And why? Because we want our significant other to feel as though we haven’t forgotten them on this special day.

Why not drop the gifts? Instead, decide on and purchase a quality box of chocolates that you can share through your hurried activities. Chocology can help you with our exquisite truffles and heart shaped fudge. With a wink and a smile, lovingly pop one into your significant others mouth as he wipes up the spilled milk and you race out the door to do carpool. Nothing says I love you more than a cheerful busy person with a stash of quality chocolate in their possession.

Romance is the natural bi-product of two happy people who are working through life’s challenges and joys together. Cherishing the busy moments and decisions that we must make together are what really cultivates intimacy. In our mind, that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about.

While it might be nice to get breakfast in bed, a note written in chocolate and a fancy night out on the town, most of us just long for simplicity. We don’t want a whole world of things to add to our “to do” list on Valentines day just because we’re “suppose to”. Why not take the pressure off and just enjoy a day of getting through life’s curve balls together.

At the end of the day, when the kids are in bed, you’ve cared for the elderly parents and your house just might pass a health inspection if needed, perhaps you can pop in a romantic comedy, make some Rich Hot Chocolate and collapse in exhaustion – together – leaving the expectations of some Harlequin Romance in the rear view mirror. Perhaps Valentines Day is a day of acceptance that our life is not about the gifts we can hurriedly grab for one another or the surprises we can think up, but about the connection that we already have and are living, moment by moment, together.


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